


No Shit, There We Were...

by magicksam



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicksam/pseuds/magicksam
Summary: Marian Hawke is not in Crestwood.  And she left three Grey Wardens from her past in her place.  When she does show back up at the Winter Palace, all of the Void breaks loose in a way that can only happen around Hawke.Marian and Varric must wrestle with their own long-thought buried feelings for each other amidst the chaos and save the world at the same time. Again.
Relationships: Female Hawke/Varric Tethras, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10
Collections: Hightown Funk 2020





	No Shit, There We Were...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anxiouspineapples](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspineapples/gifts).



> This is a gift fic for anxiouspineapples for Hightown Funk!
> 
> Their prompt was so fun and allowed me to incorporate some fun, strictly non-canon things. I've also left the Inquisitor intentionally vague, other than making her a woman and in a relationship with Cullen, so peeps can imagine their own Inquisitor.
> 
> Strap in, buckle up, and enjoy :)

Varric fidgeted with the cuff of his new jacket. He was missing his trusty duster with each passing second, but the neatly tailored suit was more befitting for mingling with the cutthroat Orlesian court.

Marian Hawke had not been in Crestwood. Instead, they found three surly Grey Wardens where she was supposed to be, all three of them connected to the infamous Hawke in some way. Carver, her younger brother, of course, Anders, a former friend, and Loghain, almost as infamous as Hawke as a decorated-war-veteran-turned-usurper-to-the-throne-turned-Grey-Warden. The former war hero and Hawke had met briefly when she had gotten herself into some Grey Warden business a couple years ago. Again.

Loghain had informed them of a crisis involving the Grey Wardens and Corypheus in the Western Approach. Anders had experience with his call when they went to deal with the ancient darkspawn last time near Kirkwall. Apparently, Carver had written to Hawke about the trouble and she had taken it upon herself to round up her three Warden friends to keep them safe. She had secured a secluded cave in Crestwood for them to hideout, and had instructed them to stay there while she took care of some mysterious business. None of them had seen her since and were unaware that she had sent a missive to Varric asking the Inquisition to come to collect them.

The moment the group stepped through the great gates of Skyhold, they were whisked to the War Room for a debriefing and were informed that they were all invited to a Masquerade at the Winter Palace, including the Grey Wardens.

A whirlwind of fittings and meetings about the various nobles who would be attending led them to the big night. Madame Vivienne had graciously offered her estate as a kind of base for the Inquisition forces, and they were waiting in the foyer for their carriages.

“Where are you, Marian?” Varric muttered to himself.

As he moved on to twisting the soft ram-leather gloves, an annoyed snort caught his ear. Carver Hawke came down to the main hall in a fitted military uniform in the colors of the wardens. He had to give to the little Hawke. The kid did clean up nicely when forced to. His dark hair was tamed down into a neat coif, and he had been freshly clean-shaven.

The other two Wardens shortly followed, both in similar uniforms and shaven faces. Anders looked liked a cat who had forcibly been given a bath with his hair pulled into a neat ponytail. Varric didn't know the mage was capable of being clean-shaven, ever.

The rest of the Inquisitor's inner circle filed in, all dressed and decorated for the masquerade. It was surprising how many of them wanted to attend. But they were all dressed to the nines in differing states of anxiousness.

Varric spied the Inquisitor herself walking down the stairs on Cullen's arm. He elbowed Carver and nodded his head over to the pair.

“Hard to believe that's the same stuffed sword from the Templars.”

Carver pulled a face. “I still can't believe Cassandra picked _him_ for the Commander role.”

Varric shrugged. “Kirkwall would've fallen into the sea by now if Aveline left her post.”

Both Carver and Anders snorted at that.

Before more commentary could be made, Madame Vivienne got everyone's attention and signaled them to begin filing into their carriages. Varric took a deep breath and sighed.

“Here we go.”

***

It was the worst party he had ever been to, and he had been to Merchant Guild parties. At least the booze there was actually good and got everyone properly shitfaced. He liked a good wine as much as the next dwarf, but this fancy Orlesian shit tasted like they tried to cram every fruit in Thedas into a drink. It was as if the wine makers wanted to pair pure misery with the imported 'ham of despair.' Varric nursed his goblet as he pulled double duty spying for the Inquisitor and avoiding Merchant Guild contacts.

“Varric?” A familiar voice called out behind him. He turned and almost dropped his drink.

Before him stood the one and only Marian Hawke, former Champion of Kirkwall. She wore an absolutely ridiculous dress, covered neck to toe in powder blue ruffles that brought out her eyes. Varric mentally saluted the poor seamstress who had to make that absurd outfit. Her dark short hair had been lightly curled, and a delicate mask was affixed to her face. He had to admit, she did make it work for her.

“Marian?” Varric nearly whsipered, “Where- what- when-”

“Oh, I guess it is rather new news.” She grinned and did a little flourish, “You are looking at Empress Celene's new court mage!”

“You're shitting me.”

“I know! So hard to believe! But, the whole 'Champion of Kirkwall' thing has more pull that we assumed.”

“What-”

“I think she likes having a 'pet mage' with an extra title. Gives it a little more razzle dazzle.” She fluttered her fingers at him for effect.

“Marian, where have you been? I- We've been worried sick about you.”

“Even Carver?”

“Especially your brother. Junior thinks he hides it well, but he's been worried sick.”

Marian pursed her lips, doubtful. She took a deep breathe and sobered.

“Weird shit has been going on since the Breach, Varric. I had to get into a position where I had connections. So I can help those I care about.”

“You could've joined the Inquisition.”

“You know what would've happened if I had. They'd have had me become Inquisitor, instead of that poor girl they forced into it.”

“She's been doing alright. She's got Curly. They've been good for eachother.”

“Cullen? Really?”

“I know! I didn't think he'd have it in him!”

They laughed together for bit. Catching up, dancing around topics neither of them really wanted to talk about. After a moment of companionable silence, Marian sighed.

“Don't worry. I have a plan.” she winked at him.

“That... is the most frightening thing you have ever said.”

She looked as if she wanted to stick her tongue out at him, but remembered their surroundings at the last moment and thought better of it.

Instead, she said simply, “Trust me.”

Varric closed his eyes and took a long breath through his nose. He let a small smirk quirk at the corner of his mouth. “Always.” he said softly.

He caught a flush over her cheeks before she quickly turned away and fished a key out of the avalanche of ruffles in her dress. She handed it over to him.

“Take this to your Inquisitor. It is very important that she knows whats going on in the Palace.” she sighed, “I fucked up in the Deep Roads, I fucked up in Kirkwall, I fucked up with Corypheus. I need to try and make things right.”

Varric looked at the key in his hand and nodded slowly. “Don't worry, Marian. We've got this.”

***

“We do not got this.”

Everything had gone so well until it had gone terribly, horribly wrong. Varric had given the key to the Inquisitor, with intructions to where it led to. She and a few of the others went snooping around the Palace and uncovered that Empress Celene, Grand Duke Gaspard, and Ambassador Briala were all plotting against each other. To make matters worse, there were Tevinter assassins lurking about. And on top of everything else, the Grey Wardens were sensing flickers of darkspawn in the Palace as well. It was all turning out to be a spectacular shitstorm.

The Inquisitor had gotten information from Gaspard's cousin Florianne that his mercenaries would be lurking in the gardens. She informed some of the inner circle and the Grey Wardens to grab their weapons and join her. She also let her advisors know to keep an eye on the Empress.

Hawke joined them, stepping dramatically out from behind a pillar. She still had the absurdly ruffled dress on, but now carried her personal staff. Varric recognized as the one she had picked up in the Vimmark Mountains, almost a family heirloom. Introductions were briefly made as they made their way.

Approaching the gardens, the three Grey Wardens stiffened and looked at each other. Almost as if for confirmation. They nodded in unison.

“Darkspawn up ahead.” Loghain muttered as he drew his blade.

Varric frowned as he unholstered Bianca. This was bad. None of them wore their usual armor. One bite from a darkspawn... they would have to be careful.

As if she could read his mind, Hawke murmured to the Inquisitor, “Let the Grey Wardens and mages handle the darkspawn. We can't afford to let anyone get infected here.”

The Inquisitor looked like she wanted to argue, but nodded. She briefly went over battle plans with everyone in hushed tones before they stepped out into the garden. Everyone was wary and had their guard up. Varric felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as Hawke and Solas cast barriers around the group.

“I'm so pleased that you could join us, Inquisitor. And with a full entourage, no less.” A familiar and haughty voice rang out.

Grand Duchess Florianne stood on a balcony above the gardens, and as Varric looked around, his heart lept into his throat. Venatori assassins flanked her and lined the other balconies, arrows trained on the group. The hairs on his arms raised when he heard a sound he prayed to the Maker he would never hear again. The chattering of darkspawn echoed in the shadows.

“I must thank you for bringing the rogue Grey Wardens here. Lord Corypheus will be so pleased to have his pets brought back to him.”

Hawke's eyes widened in fear and realization as the Inquisitor spoke. “The Grey Wardens are no pets of Corypheus. He will never succeed in his plans.”

Marian locked eyes with Anders. He understood, and a brief flicker of blue energy filled his eyes.

Florianne laughed mockingly, “Corypheus has given me the power to deal with the likes of you and bring the Wardens back under his heal.” She snapped her fingers, and at first... nothing seemed to happen.

Suddenly, both Carver and Loghain dropped their weapons and clutched their heads, screaming. Bright blue energy burst from Anders as his eyes glowed with the same power.

Florianne laughed. “I'd love to stay and watch your inevitable demise, but I have an Empress to kill. It was a lovely dance, Inquisitor.” She turned from the balcony and disappeared inside.

The battle erupted. The Inquisitor screamed for barriers as she unleashed a rift from her hand before the archers could fire. Hawke sliced open the side of her arm and rushed to the screaming Wardens. Dabbing her hands in her blood, she placed her bloody palms on their foreheads and barked an incantation. In an instant, their screaming stopped and their eyes cleared. Marian cauterized her self-inflicted wound with fire magic before turning to the fight.

Varric and Sera peppered shots into the balconies while the mages shot fire and ice. Cole flickered from landing to landing, ending lives with each flash of his bladesw. The chittering of the darkspawn drew nearer.

“Inquisitor! Take your warriors and go stop Florianne.”

“But, you-”

“They'll be sitting ducks in this fight and you need to stop her. This fight is pointless if she kills the Empress. Now GO!”

The Inquisitor hesitated for a moment, but motioned to the rest of her friends to join her.

Hawke made sure they made it inside safely, then gathered her magic around herself. Fire flashed around her staff and arms. “Just like the old days, eh Varric?”

He grinned despite himself. “You do always take me to the best parties.”

“Let's end this.”

Hawke's flames were joined by Anders's blue ones, and made short work of the advancing darkspawn force. Any that survived the heat were brought down by silverite blades or arrows. Florianne had apparently hoped that with the Wardens out of commission, they would have overwhelmed the rest of the group.

As the adrenaline wore off, Hawke sagged to the ground. Her ruffled dress was now singed. Luckily, no one had been hurt and only mild confusion remained.

Corypheus had the ability to create a false Calling. Hawke, Anders, and Varric knew about it, having experienced it the first time they encountered it. They hadn't known that he could pass that ability to his subordinates.

What mattered now was that they were alive. Marian embraced Varric, holding onto him tightly.

“I'm never leaving you alone again, Marian.” he murmured into her shoulder.

***

Varric was out on the balcony, taking in the crisp clean night air as the party continued inside. He needed to not be around the others right now. Needed to process what happened. They had succeeded. The Inquisitor had apparently been a sight to behold. She confronted Florianne before the entire court, and had Cullen arrest her before she could do any harm. Curly had apparently gotten a slash in his uniform for his trouble, but was otherwise unharmed.

The Inquisitor had even solidified Empress Celene's claim to the Empire, forcing her cousin to bend the knee and swear his loyalty.

They had pulled victory from the jaws of defeat. Again.

Familiar footsteps pulled him out of his reverie. They belonged to the only person he ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Hawke came up next to him and leaned her elbows against the banister. Gone was the mask and the ruffled dress. She now wore a simple, smart looking tunic of the same color and dark grey leggings.

“Whelp. So my streak of fucking up continues.”

“Marian, this wasn't your fuckup-”

She held up a hand.

“Apparently, because I was not there to guard her Majesty from the assassination attempt, I have failed in my duties as court mage.” She chuckled humorlessly, “I'm being sent as an advisor to the Inquisition as my penance.”

Varric was dumbstruck for a moment. “So, you're coming with us?”

“Yep! You'll have me around to oggle as much as you like.” She winked. “Also gotta keep an eye on Carver and Anders through this Western Approach bullshit. Sounds like a proper Hawke party, if you ask me.”

Varric said nothing, just embraced her for all she was worth. She dipped down and kissed him fully. After a moment, they both parted with a sigh.

“Care to dance?” bright blue eyes sparkled. “I know you know how to.”

“What, now?” he sputtered.

She flicked her eyes towards the ballroom. “Why not? Let's show them how we do it in Kirkwall.”

Varric chuckled as she led them inside. “Well, shit.”


End file.
